Penny Bail Bonds Anger Tips
By Anthony Fiore, Ph.D.
http://www.angercoach.com
http://www.angercoachonline.com

Anger Tip # 5 – Support Partner’s Good Fortune

Jim and Mary had been married for 10 years when Mary announced that she had been finally received the long-awaited promotion at her job as an account manager for a financial firm. Jim responded to the news from behind his newspaper with: “Oh, that’s nice...when will we see the increase in salary?”

Mary felt devastated and unloved with this response from Jim. Jim, on the other hand, could not understand why Mary would be upset with him; after all, in his mind. that was a perfectly logical question to ask. To Jim’s dismay, Mary then revealed that she felt that the closeness between them was slipping away, a concept that Jim could not understand as being even remotely related to her job promotion.

A new study by Dr Steven Hendlin may help explain what is going on with Jim and Mary. Specifically, this study found that the way you respond to your partner’s good fortune—with excitement or passive approval, shared pride or indifference—was found to be the most crucial factor in tightening or undermining your relationship bound.

In this case, Mary made what is known as a “bid” for affection; this was a perfect opportunity for Jim to tighten his bond with Mary by emotionally joining her in her good fortune. Unfortunately, Jim did not recognize this as an opportunity to add cement to their relationship and make them feel closer to each other.

To Jim’s credit, several months later, he did emotionally support his wife through the trauma of losing a parent. Unfortunately, this did not “undo” the emotional damage caused by his lack of support for the promotion. This is because undoing the negative or soothing your partner’s disappointments- while necessary – are insufficient in creating and maintaining a satisfying relationship. According to Dr. Hendlin, “you also need to be actively supporting your partner’s projects and especially their achievements.”

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