Penny Bail Bonds Anger Tips
By Anthony Fiore, Ph.D.
http://www.angercoach.com
http://www.angercoachonline.com

Anger Tip # 22- Wives: Remember that Husband May Need Roadmap

Troy and Helen were both in an anger management class. Married for 10 years, Helen was often angry at Troy while Troy often felt that he was completely unable to please his wife, no matter what he did. He had a good heart— he wanted to stay out of trouble with her—but  seemed oblivious to what the “right”( or expected)  behaviors were. Helen was exasperated because it seemed perfectly obvious to her what he should do or not do to make her happy and improve the relationship; she interpreted his missteps or offensive behavior as purposeful and secretly designed to frustrate or alienate her.
As this case illustrates, wives often become angry at their husbands because their husbands do not respond emotionally or in behavior to their complaints. Husbands, on the other hand, often confess that they don’t respond sometimes because it is not clear to them what the “right” or expected answer or response is.
It is our experience in anger management classes that men (on the average) are less complicated emotionally than women. And, sometimes they honestly often do not understand women, partly because they may not know how to navigate the world of emotions as easily as women. For wives to assume that “my husband should know by now what I need without my having to tell him” is often the type of expectation that generates anger and does not change the behavior of their husband.
The idea here is that you DO have to tell him in a way that he will both hear you and respond to you.
Rather than yelling or criticizing, many wives find it more effective to simply state what is expected, what their needs are, and what would make them happy—that is, drawing a roadmap that your husband can follow. This “roadmap” ideally should be like an instruction manual about you (how you “work”), what you expect and how you feel about certain things he does or does not do. It should be presented in a way that your husband sees as logical and reasonable. It should also contain future requests you have of him. Most importantly, it should be done in a loving context that does not overwhelm him, that explains things in his language, and that acknowledges the positives he brings into the relationship. 

Penny Bail Bonds Anger Tips are brought to you as a community service by Penny Bail Bonds  and The Bail Bond Store.