Penny Bail Bonds Anger Tips
By Anthony Fiore, Ph.D.
http://www.angercoach.com
http://www.angercoachonline.com

Anger Tip # 17- Develop a Silver Tongue

Let’s eavesdrop on a marital battle taking place between Mario and Jill who have been married for over 30 years:

Jill: We never talk to each other anymore. I’ve gotten so caught y in my job, and in dealing with the grandchildren, and all my community activities – sometimes I eve forget that I have a husband.

Mario: Well, I’d remind you – except I forget that you have a husband too. Lately, my job alone seems to use up 48 hours a day.

Jill: You know, it would really help if you’d tend more to our dogs than you do. You never give them a bath anymore.

Mario: That’s not fair; I bathed them just last week.

Jill: No, you didn’t.

Mario: Yes, I did.

Jill: You’re a liar.

Mario: Who are you calling a liar?

Jill: If the shoe fits……

Mario: Well, the shoe doesn’t fit.

Jill: Why do you always have to be so defensive?

Mario: Why do you always have to be so critical?

Jill: I’m not critical; I’m just telling you how I feel. You’re oversensitive.

Mario: You think calling me names isn’t criticizing? You called me a liar.

Jill: Well, you called me a nag.
Some people just seem to antagonize their partners or other loved ones even if they don’t mean to. They say things in a way that causes others to “push back” often with resistance, defensiveness or anger of their own. This seems especially true in relationship conflict.
Words are powerful. Have you ever heard the expression that the pen is mightier than the sword? Sometimes words can hurt more than deeds.
Effective people find ways to express themselves so they get better results without having to incur negative backlash
To do this, avoid phrases such as:

• “You must…”
• “You have to…”
• “If you don’t, then…”
• “Let me tell you why you are wrong…”
• “I know what you need…”
• “Here is what you should do…”
• “You always……..”
• “You never……..”

Instead, use phrases such as:

• “I would appreciate it if…”
• “You might prefer to…”
• “This is what will happen if you…”
• “Another way to look at it is…”
• “You might try…”
• “Often, (instead of “always”) you……..”
• “Very Seldom (instead of “never”) do you…………”

Try it! Words can make a world of difference in how people respond to you. The right words can turn your partner from an enemy or a stranger to an ally, so you can work on your issues together rather than fighting each other.

Penny Bail Bonds Anger Tips are brought to you as a community service by Penny Bail Bonds  and The Bail Bond Store.