Penny Bail Bonds Anger Tips
By Anthony Fiore, Ph.D.
http://www.angercoach.com
http://www.angercoachonline.com

Anger Tip # 11-Talk From Your Heart

Joe and Mary had been dating for 6 months, both having come out of a long-term marriage. One evening while walking, they encountered a woman getting out of her car that Joe thought was drop-dead gorgeous. Being a rather “typical” male, he actually lost his breath when he saw her. Of course, Mary saw this and was highly offended. However, rather than getting angry and thus ruining the whole evening, she chose to deal with it in the following manner:
Mary simply said: “you know, when you do that and ogle other women, it just breaks my heart.”
Mary communicated everything in that simple sentence. It expressed her feelings, it jolted Joe into understanding the effect his behavior had on her (also called empathy), and it motivated Joe to modify his behavior.
Anger is a form of communication. Like all forms of communication, we are trying to get something when we get angry. Usually, what we are trying to get is:

• To change someone else
• To get another person to do something we want them to.
• To get our own way
• To be heard or to be validated

The problem is. anger usually doesn’t get us any of these things—or, if it does, the cost is too high.
In this case, upon hearing Mary’s heartfelt feelings, Joe never did that again, not wanting to hurt or disrespect Mary. What a different outcome may have occurred had Mary gone into a jealous rage, berated Joe, or otherwise lost emotional control.

Try communicating from your heart instead of getting mad or angry. It is more effective, it doesn’t create conflict between people, and it has more lasting effect than does the angry outburst response.

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